Before I Go

I never could’ve imagined a night so long,

Such chaos of buzz and flash.

What deadly of a weapon a single bullet is.

I say this as I see the world around me crash.

To not see that my end is near would be foolish.

The longer I sit in this whirl of dust, the longer I feel my cold blood dripping across my uniform.

But as I hear the war cries of my men

I know that they will not fail my country’s trust.

If this diary survives to see the break of dawn,

Take this message to my Mother.

If there is a God, I grant Him my salute

To have gifted me you, who loves me like no other.

In my own small ways, I tried to become the perfect son.

I promise that I stood by what you taught me;

When the enemy stood in front, pointing at my Tricolor

I fought them back and did not run.

To my Dad, thank you is all I have to say.

Thank you for every time I was appreciated and every time I was slapped.

For every one of those prepared me to face tomorrow better than today.

As fate may have it, there are no more lessons left to learn.

As a boy I always found it difficult to say “I love you”;

But every vacation that I saw you, I wished my hero was proud of me too.

To my brother and sister send my blessings.

I am sorry I forced upon you my every order.

However, there are no two people I could be prouder of.

In my final moments, I find peace knowing that you stand guarding my country’s border.

Before reaching the end of the line

I pay my respects to my land, and the Tricolor- my country’s grace.

In a life so short I was unable to give back what I owed you,

But wish to get buried in your embrace.

For my Motherland I sacrifice all that I have.

For you, I have spilled my blood and that of the enemy.

Whenever someone tried to harm you, my brothers and I stood before them like a wall.

The only regret is that there was so much more to be done.

To be dying like a hero does not make sense to me.

But it is with pride I say that I have lived like one.

Today, I bid my final farewell praying with my last dying words to rise again in your arms.

Jai Hind.

Written by Tejas Mishra for MTTN

Pictures by Denisha Ved, Gaurangi Gupta