The Friend

At first, it was simply someone

who shared the table in the canteen,

who gave you their ice cream,

who held your secret like an oath

because for them, it’s nothing, and that's

When you see their heart of gold

The childlike wonder keeps you shining

And as you age, so does it,

This peculiar, silent twin named friendship.

It begins to live inside of you,

to whisper itself into your laughter,

your beliefs, your doubts, your thoughts on love

before you’ve ever known it in person.

You never have to speak of yourself,

And still, somehow, they know.

No context, just the essence of you.

Your silence whenever something matters.

Laughing loudest at the things that are

deep within, breaking your heart

Then, here comes the conflict,

and god, how you spiral.

You want all angles, all motives,

all stories told.

You want to be able to put yourself and others

on trial, where you are the judge,

the accused, the plaintiff at once all

You try to take the high road and hope for

the best, but you want answers,

answers to questions with no good answers.

That's what the old and wise perhaps know

its ugly and harsh, and yet glimmers;

in having something important to say

It’s perhaps accepting that you

may never know what went wrong.

I'm angry, but not willing to hurt.

Yes, indeed, it’s frightening.

To still want a friendship

after all these years of wisdom,

To feel it as it cracks the porcelain

of everything you believed in,

leaving you stranded in this galaxy

With the thought of how you lose sleep

over a friend who is just a person,

and yet, somehow, everything.